For the longest time I thought he is SEE and only recently did I admit to the fact that he might be SLE. The only part that was immediately clear was that he is an extravert. Out of curiosity Kim (and I realise this is possibly quite personal so feel free to ignore) - why are you asking this question after 7 years? Presumably you have more experience with what works in SLE relationships than the rest of us combined?As odd as this might sound, I have had the hardest time typing him. This is one of the reasons why SLE's get along so well with IEI's. You can rough house & play with them all you want, but show them any form of aggression and they'll bark & snap. Because of this, SLE's have always reminded me a lot of dogs. (This is really evident in SLE posters like Ezra & Merky). To SLE's words don't matter they value the tone of voice & emotion more. You can pretty much tell them to eat shit & die with a playful smile on your face & they'll wag their tails & adore you like little puppies. But I dunno, most of the Beta STs I know would, I imagine, enjoy a bit of verbal sparring with their partners. Although that might be more of a guy-guy thing or a general buddy thing than a thing they do with their significant other. If you joke with him about a mistake after he's already resolved it (i.e., gotten through the traffic, gotten to the destination if it's a long trip, or when you've gotten back home if it's a short one), it won't hurt nearly as bad.Īlso, don't be afraid to argue with them and call them out on their bullshit-SLEs are very good at being able to argue with you (as long as you don't trip certain wires) without getting their feelings hurt. If you nag him about it during the situation, it'll hurt him. " But make sure not to do this until he's gotten you out of the situation where he fucked up. " But you can use it for something like, "You know, I *did* kinda tell you to take I-45, so maaaaaaybe you should listen to me next time and we won't be on a parking lot on I-30?. I mean, don't do that for something major, like, "Your failure to act caused this six month old child to die. If you have to say something harsh to them, imagine saying it in such a way that you can finish the statement with this smiley face. What else? Tone of voice matters a lot to SLEs-you can say some pretty mean stuff without offending them if you say it in the right tone. But again, I'm guessing he won't be too in to that. So if he needs to use a silly keyword to be clear with you how you're communicating, he probably won't mind (well, actually, he probably will mind, but he'll be willing to do it for twoo wuv rainbowrainbowrainbow). So it would be like, "No, I'm pretty sure we need to take I-45, because if we take I-30, we're going to hit some traffic I read about in the news." But I suppose at this point I'm basically just telling you to be an IEI, so this probably isn't helpful.Īnyway, you can also sort of tell him what he needs to do to make you happy. Got it." Or if they were actually wrong, I'd escalate a level without signaling that I'm angry. And then when SLE comes back with, "No, we're just going to take I-30, because that leads to where we're going," I'd respond with, "Oh, well, yeah, you know what you're doing. (I never really noticed all these things that I do naturally that are super good fits with SLEs). Although there will be unexpected subjects about which you cannot joke, in all likelihood.Īnyway, I would say, use something more akin to: "Hey, I'm sure you know what to do, but I just thought I'd point out that." I would say this in a somewhat silly/quasi-subserviant tone of voice which is semi-mocking but not really. And even then, if you have a morbid enough SLE, you can joke about (almost) anything. Although light-hearted jokes during serious situations (as long as the situation isn't TOO serious) are usually appreciated. An SLE is likely to have the same reaction as I did to those code words, which is: What the hell? Like, why the fuck would I randomly say rhinoceros right before I say something? Why wouldn't I just say it.? So, I would say, do something that serves the same purpose, but without a sort of code system that an SLE (imo) is likely to find silly without being entertaining SLEs only like entertaining-silly, not functional-silly. ^That is a good idea, but IMO, you gotta be more subtle than that.
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